I was having a chat with an old friend of mine who received an incredible job opportunity, something he loved doing in the past, and he would love to do again. He was having a struggle, though, because it would mean a tremendous change for his family. I could feel his soul longing to take this leap and fulfill something inside of himself that he thought was long gone. What a tough choice! Continue to sacrifice for his family, or step into his passion and feel energized and in purpose.
To talk to him, he would say his purpose was to be with his family, and you can understand that since, for seventeen years, that is what he has done. Looking at the energy of it, his purpose is to feel complete, which means taking the job. In the end, it is his decision, of course, and if he chooses to stay where he is, that’s not a mistake, but maybe something he will feel resentful about down the line.
We all have these moments in our lives where the Universe presents us with a choice. Do we continue the direction we are going, or do we take a detour and begin an adventure? Continuing on our current path isn’t a bad thing, but it might be the safe choice. Our soul might be calling us to take the detour, but justifying it to our logical self is like telling Eeyore to just forget his tail and move along with his life!
I couldn’t tell my friend, “You must take this job or you will resent it later,” because he might feel the choice of staying put is what is best for him. Just like when you get these nudges to make changes in your life, you must decide for yourself what is best for you. But remember, if it’s not best for you, it’s not best for anyone else.
So, how do we do this? How do we decide what is best for us? What I told him to do is this:
Close your eyes and imagine yourself making this change, doing it. How does it feel? What feels good about it? What doesn’t feel good about it? Where in your body are you feeling it?
Now, close your eyes again, and imagine your family. What are they doing? How does your family feel with you in this job? Where are you feeling this in your body?
Anyone can do this exercise. What it does is check in with the heart, the feeling of it. If you are feeling it in the upper part of your body, the heart area and up, and it feels light and positive, then that is high energy. If you are feeling it in the pit of your stomach, that is lower energy, and it might not be the right choice for you. Of course, sometimes we get in our own way with this exercise because we are afraid, so it will always feel like a pit in your stomach. If this happens, take a deep breath and ask your Divine helpers to assist with the exercise. Say to yourself, “I am releasing my fears around this and opening up to what is best for me.” Then do the exercise again.
Huge change for us humans is never easy. We are creatures of habit, but we are not supposed to be stagnant energies! We are meant to experience life and all that entails, which means taking risks sometimes and moving into directions that might involve huge life changes.
If you feel stagnant, ask the Universe to help move you into higher energy spaces with ease and grace. If you are faced with a change or choice, tune into your soul by doing the exercise above. What does your heart want for you?
As always, J.T. and I are here to help! Please don’t hesitate to ask!
Enjoy the new growth of spring, inside and out! What an incredible process to be able to rebirth ourselves at any moment!
Eleven years ago, my three beautiful children were waiting for the arrival of spring. We had snow on the ground and were still digging out from the blizzard we had in December 2016. J.T. was attending Karate, riding his bike around the neighborhood, and we were happy. I remember very distinctly the Saturday before J.T. passed we were driving around in the “big redneck truck,” the five of us. The kids were singing the songs on the radio in the backseat, and I thought to myself, “I need to remember this moment. It doesn’t get any better than this.”
The next day, J.T. began to feel like he was coming down with something. By Monday we knew it was the flu. Five days later, that Friday, my J.T. was gone.
Okay, I’m going to stop right there, because J.T. is already critiquing my writing. He says, “I wasn’t gone, Mom. You just couldn’t see me.” Yes, he is correct. As I would find through the twists and turns of grief, and the breadcrumbs he left for me to follow, he wasn’t gone
Through it all, he never gave up on me. He continued to push hard, bringing me signs, messages through others, and 2×4’s upside my head to make sure I knew he was okay. He was very much still here. I didn’t know what that meant at first, but within a very short time, I would learn what all of this meant for me and for him. I would learn I was a medium, the bridge between our world and the other world where J.T. took residence, and that he was my “lifeline,” the constant in a sea of change and uncertainty. He still makes sure I know he’s around when I need him, especially this time of year.
I really don’t like March, for obvious reasons. This year, March 30th (his angelversary, as we call it) falls on a Friday, the same day of the week as in 2007. And Sunday, April 1st, two days later (Easter this year) is the day we planned our son’s funeral and picked out a casket for him. I believe this is why I am struggling a bit this year with J.T. not being here. Not to mention the flu epidemic and hearing his brother’s horrible cough from the other room as I write this. I tell ya, it’s hard to not freak out just a little bit.
Again, the critic enters the room. “Don’t worry, Mom. He will be fine. You know this.”
Yes, I do know this, only because I keep asking you, and I TRUST you. I know you wouldn’t lie to me, dear son. So I take a deep breath and know this will pass. I TRUST I won’t be burying another child.
Honestly, if J.T.’s siblings knew how many times I’ve asked their brother for advice about them, and how he knows so much more about what they need sometimes than I do, they would thank him a million times over. He is always there when I need answers about what to do, not only with his siblings, but with everything. And if I’m not listening, in come the 2x4s again…”MOM! You don’t have to do it that way. How about trying to do it this way?” Oh, I say. I hadn’t thought of that. And then he smiles.
I don’t know where I would be without his guidance, his perspective, and his love.
So, here we are, eleven years later, and even though I say it each and every day, I will say it again. Thank you, dear son, for being my lighthouse, showing me the way through the storms of life. And for never giving up on me.
I love you with all my heart and soul.
“I love you, too, Mom.
And then he smiles.
My father was very much into metaphysics when I was growing up. Back then, they called it the Occult. Funny now how that word has taken on a completely different connotation. Some of the gifts he would give me were Linda Goodman’s astrology charts for the new year, fun candles, and, one of my favorites, a numerology kit.
I must have been nine or ten when he got me the kit pictured here. The copyright is 1973! I guess even at that age, I wanted to believe there was more to life than random happenstance. I wanted to believe there was order in the chaos.
I immediately set out to find my numbers. Of course, being that young, I would read the meanings of the numbers but didn’t understand how they applied to me. No, that would come much later.
Numbers are still a huge part of my life, which brings me to the numerology of 2018. While 2017 was about new beginnings and, for some, the beginnings of what appeared to be insanity, 2018 is about inspiration, intuition and connecting to the Divine.
The way we calculate the numbers is adding up the digits in the year. 2+0+1+8=11. Ordinarily, we would continue adding the digits until we arrive at a one digit answer, but in the case of 11, which is considered a Master number, we leave it as is. Technically, 2018 is also a “2” year, which is about unions and partnerships, but I want to focus on what it means to be in an “11” year.
We are universally affected by this 11 year. There is so much more in numerology than just what year it is (I know some great numerologists if you want to pursue this further!), but for me, being in a Master year means I have no limits! I can create what I need in my life, bringing Divine wisdom and Universal Love into all areas of my life. More than this, when we connect with that Divine Wisdom and Universal Love, the possibilities are endless! There are no restrictions in the Divine. All things are possible.
Now for the fun part: Learning how to bring all of this into your reality!
First and foremost, believe you have that Divine connection, even if it’s a little bit rusty. We are all Divine sparks. We are all connected to the Universe and everything in it. I have a new session I am offering for the new year called, “Divine Connection Session.” It is one way to oil up those rusty wheels and reconnect with the Divine. These sessions can be done in person or by phone, so it doesn’t matter where you live! You can read more about this new session at this link. (Scroll down for special savings for this session, too!)
I also have a few spots left in the 2018 New Year Intention Setting Workshop on Sunday, January 14th. During this workshop, we focus on bringing our intentions into alignment with our purpose. We connect with our Purpose Guides and, again, oil up that rusty connection between us and the Universe. Here’s the link if you are interested!
Another way to connect with the Divine Wisdom and Universal Love is through our own healing abilities. I am offering a Reiki I class on Sunday, January 21st. Reiki is bringing that Universal Life Force Energy through us to heal ourselves and others. A Reiki attunement (which is waking up the Reiki energy inside of you) raises your vibration permanently, allowing clearer connection with the Divine. At the end of this class, you will be a Reiki Practitioner, able to do healing on yourself and others. It is a great way to bring in that Universal Love and Divine Wisdom! Here’s the link if this is calling to you!
As you can see, there is no one way to do this, and no “right” or “wrong” way either. Use your Divine connection to figure out what will work for you!
2018, a Master 11 Year, is screaming, “I am Love, I am the Divine, I am here for you!” I hope you will use this incredible opportunity to move closer to who you truly are, a beautiful spirit having one hell of an adventure!
If I can help in any way, please don’t hesitate to ask! Special thanks to my dad for opening me to these kooky ideas at such a young age. Today, January 1, is his angelversary. He left on 1/1/1995. He certainly had his new beginning! Thanks, Dad! I love you!
Defining Ourselves in a Culture of Boxes That Don’t Fit
I remember when I was in school, I never really fit in. I wasn’t the popular kid. I was the smart kid, in advanced math classes and AP Physics. I was a geek. But that wasn’t really who I was either. I had great friends who were also the Misfits. We would do crazy things and get the nuns all riled up, wondering what to do with us. Since we were smart and got good grades, they didn’t want to impede our learning, so as long as we stayed inside the lines, we were safe.
As I got older and went to college (studying mechanical engineering), I had a harder time in the Misfit box. It wasn’t fitting as well, and I wanted to do something different. But what? Once again, I found myself with the Geeks in the Technical Support department at Logitech, then onto Software QA Engineering. I loved my work! It fit me to a T.
I was an Engineer.
Then I got married and was pregnant with J.T., and decided to quit my job and stay home with my baby. In the beginning, the Mom box didn’t fit at all. I had no idea what to do with this little being who wouldn’t sleep and cried a lot. Suddenly, I wasn’t good at my job anymore (or so I thought). I went into an identity crisis, wondering what happened to that Engineer who did her job so well. Everyone was telling me how to be a good Mom, what to do with my child, how to raise him to be a good boy, “let him cry it out,” “if he’s not potty trained by 3, there’s something wrong with him,” “you’re too soft on him,” blah blah blah.
So much of what I was hearing was counter to what my intuition was saying. I felt like I had to fight for my intuition. I knew what to do if I just stopped listening to the outside world, and just listened to that inner voice. I did find my bearings, and lead my parenting from the heart instead of the head. I let my heart tell me what to do (most of the time) and told my head to shut up.
Fast forward to ten years ago, when J.T. left and I found who I am. Droves of people left my life (or so it felt) because they could not handle who I was. It was quite a while before I was able to say “I’m a psychic medium” without hanging my head, waiting for them to tell me I was going to hell or that the devil was inside me. Talk about being a Misfit! I was wearing that suit very well! Thankfully, I had J.T. prodding me on, letting me know it was okay to be who I was, and that, in time, others would accept it, too. Thankfully.
From birth, we are told so many things about ourselves from outside of us. “You’re so cute” “You are going to grow up and be just like your mom (or dad)” “You’re not very smart, are you?”
We forget we have that inner compass to guide us because we rely on our outside world to feed us, clothe us, and keep us safe. Why wouldn’t we rely on them to tell us who we are, also?
If you are reading this, you get it. You understand you are not just one thing or another.You are complex. You do not fit into just one box. Wouldn’t that be neat and tidy! It can be hard, though, to jump from box to box depending on what you are doing and who you are with…the work box, the parent box, the adult child box, the friend box. Then there’s the things that happened to us. The grieving parent box, the addict box, the doormat box. The truth is no one box fits, but sometimes we get stuck in a particular box because of something we are told about ourselves, or what society and our culture expects from us.
I invite you to take a look at your boxes this month:
Are there any boxes you keep cramming yourself into that just aren’t working anymore?
Are you being told you should be in a box that you know isn’t right for you?
Is it hard for you to listen to your inner knowing?
Do you rely on others to tell you what box to be in?
What would it feel like to break out of the boxes and be in the flow of life instead of being in a box?
No matter who or what around you is defining what box or who you should be, STOP and listen to your heart. What is your heart telling you? Move all the other junk out of the way…and listen. All you need is already within you. Your inner compass knows WHO YOU ARE.
This time of year, we can get overwhelmed with what other people expect from us. Again, I invite you to take a look inside your box, to find the gift of YOU, and not what other people project on you. If you need any help with this, please let me know. Sometimes, all it takes is creating a quiet space so your soul can speak to you. I’d be happy to assist you in getting rid of your boxes and learning to listen to your heart!
Seeing number sequences, like 11:11, 12:12, 222, 333?
Each of these sequences have a different meaning, but they all mean one thing: Your Divine Helpers and loved ones who have passed are reaching out to you to give you a message.
There is no one defined message for a sequence, and it might be a special message just for you. An example of this for me is 10:37. I see this sequence all the time! It’s my dad saying “Hi” from the other side. His birthday is 5/10/1937, so of course, he would choose something unique, like 10:37, so I would know it was him!
Here’s just a few definitions for these number sequences. Again, your message might be different!
11:11 – You are being called to look at your life differently. Ask yourself if you are where you need to be right now. Your guides and angels are here to help!
1:11 or 111 – New beginnings. You have the opportunity to begin anew. Take advantage of it now!
2:22 or 222 – Creation is in your hands. What do you want to create today? You can create anything you desire!
3:33 or 333 – We are here to help you in your endeavors. Dream big and use your innate intuition to guide you.
4:44 or 444 – You are in alignment with your soul. Keep charging forward! Take a class or do some research on how to enhance your intuition.
5:55 or 555 – Change is on the horizon. You have more to say about this change and how it manifests than you believe. Ask for Divine assistance to help you.
666 – The popular definition of this is that it is the sign of the devil. What is the devil? The devil is something that diverts you from your path. 666 is telling you to shift your focus. What you see in front of you might be an illusion. Look inside for the true answer.
777 – You are a spiritual being. Everything is in alignment with your higher self. Reach for the stars and broaden your perspective of who you are. Remember your Divine self.
888 – You are almost there! Keep moving forward. You have the power to complete this. Look inside for that Divine Spark and personal power to take you to the finish line!
999 – The number 9 is about endings. Endings aren’t good or bad, they just are. You have choice in how this ends. Use your intuition to move you through this final phase. Let go of what isn’t working anymore, so newness can make it’s way into your life.
10:10 – Watch your thoughts, as thoughts are creation and become your reality. Keep your thoughts positive and know you are always protected and assisted in so many ways!
12:12 – This number sequence is very high vibration. It’s a reminder that you are aligned with the Universe. It also is a portal activation, which means it is an invitation to take your energy to a higher place. When you see this sequence, stop and meditate. Ask your Helpers to take you to the highest vibration possible.
12:34 – You are progressing forward. Keep moving! Trust your guidance and know you are exactly where you need to be! Don’t get caught up by illusions in front of you. You can change it to anything you need it to be!
Again, these are just a few of the meanings of these number sequences. There are many meanings, so trust your intuition to tell you what these numbers mean specifically to you and your journey!
If you need help deciphering your number sequences, keep reading for a special discount on individual sessions with me!
I had the most incredible encounter with a tree today. I visit a labyrinth in the area, and there is one tree with which I have frequent conversations. It is a very wise soul, and can help me with anything I bring to it. Today, I felt my filters were clogged. You know that feeling when things are just fuzzy? I was feeling like that today, and realized I needed a cleaning. I was running names of healers through my head to see which popped up as the best soul to help me with this as I was walking the labyrinth. At the point where I stopped at my tree, it said to me, “I can do that for you.” I said, “Oh, that would be wonderful!” and I grabbed one of the branches. I immediately felt a backward push as the energy started to run through me. The backward push morphed into a circular rotation of my body, round and round, as this incredible energy coursed through me. Part of me was hoping no one would see this strange occurrence from the road or the windows nearby, and another part of me was enjoying it so much, I could care less!
The rotation slowed and then came to a stop. I opened my eyes to regain my balance, and felt cleared, cleansed, reenergized, and clog free!!
This was my reminder about the wonders of nature, and the help that is at our fingertips. If you have not found YOUR tree yet, I suggest you do! They are healers, listeners, advisors and friends. Let the tree speak to you. Open your heart and listen. You might just have an experience like mine or better!
Happy tree hugging!
This will be our tenth Christmas without J.T. here to open presents with us. That first year, I shopped for him anyway. I couldn’t stand the fact he wasn’t going to be there, so I pretended he was going to come home and would need his presents. Delusional? No. Just grieving.
I had connection with him by this time, but it wasn’t as clear as it is now. I’m sure he told me to let it go, but I either couldn’t hear it, or wouldn’t hear it. I made sure I got gifts that his sister and brother would like, so at least someone would be able to play with the toys. I also bought so many presents for my other children, in hopes to make up for the huge hole in our family, that they actually got bored opening them after a while. That’s quite an accomplishment, isn’t it?
The next year, I vowed to not go overboard. I still got J.T. a few things his brother and sister would like. What was I trying to prove, though? That he was still there? That my love for him hadn’t faded? That I thought he would be missing Christmas? All of the above, I suppose.
The third year, I realized purchasing presents was a bit ridiculous, so I filled his stocking with little goodies instead, again, knowing his siblings would get the goods, for which they were happy…I think. I never did ask them how they felt about it. For all I knew, it opened the wound again. Kids are so resilient and heal so much more quickly than we do with these things, especially at five and three years old. To think that J.T. has been gone longer than they have been alive is so strange, but at the same time, I’m glad for them that their pain has subsided over the years.
I have filled J.T.’s stocking for years now, with little trinkets he would like and, of course, candy. At this point with clear connection with my son, he’s telling me to let it go, and I can hear him very clearly. He says, “Why are you spending money on me, Mom? It’s okay to not fill my stocking now. You know where I am, and you know I’m not going anywhere. Let’s give this tradition a rest.”
All of these thoughts rush through my mind as I think about the possibility of not shopping for him. I knew I had been fooling myself into thinking this was really for his siblings so they would feel closer to him this time of year, and it was for me to feel he was included. But what was this really about?
When you lose a child, guilt becomes a normal feeling. I mean, how could we have allowed this to happen? We should have saved our child, and we didn’t. Now, if I let go of this, does it mean I don’t love him, or will forget about him?
The answer is no. First of all, we are not responsible for our children’s passing. J.T. tells me no one leaves unless it is their time, and if they don’t leave one way, they will find another way. We as parents do not have the power or authority to stop that. Secondly, will I ever forget my son or stop loving him? NO! He’s with me every moment, and we share a bond that can never be severed. Love is energy, and energy can never be destroyed…it just changes form.
Yes, we have had to work at this relationship from where he is now, but it will never change the parent-child connection. I will always love him and always remember who he is.
So this year, per J.T.’s request, I am not filling his stocking. And so far, I’m feeling okay about it.
If you have been doing something similar for your child or loved one, I invite you to relieve yourself of the guilt and obligation this year. It doesn’t mean they won’t be with you. In fact, quite the opposite! Our loved ones make this time of year special for us in any way they can. Believe the magic of the season applies to them, too!
J.T. and I are sending you love and peaceful wishes for the upcoming holiday season.
Namaste and Many Blessings!
My twelve-year-old son has Asperger’s Syndrome. He was diagnosed when he was seven, but we saw symptoms years prior. He was born with a heart defect and had to be on a plethora of medications until they could operate. I’m told this created the condition, a combination of drugs in his newborn system. Many know these incredible children by the name “Indigo.” They are highly intelligent and sensitive.
Being in the woo-woo field, my approach has been holistic: Acupuncture, NAET, amethyst mat, and some traditional therapy thrown in for good measure. We do Reiki every night before he goes to bed. He gives me Reiki and I give him Reiki, such a great way to end a day. There is a third member in our nightly ritual who, as soon as we initiate Reiki, jumps on the bed and demands his share. His name is Hugo, and he is a Creamsicle Tabby cat. We call him a Dreamsicle, because he is an angel in a cat suit, a healer, and an incredible barometer for my son. Hugo knows when my son is agitated, and will jump in his lap, curl up and purr. Just by petting this little angel, my son calms and is able to come back from wherever he goes when he gets into these energy states.
Hugo is not the only healer in an animal suit in our home. We have a knack for finding them in shelters. We learn so much them and vice versa, I am sure. When I’m tired, there is always an animal in my lap helping me to clear and bring in higher energy. In return, we give them more than just an “animal life.” They are members of our family through and through.
I started working with much larger healers—horses. I am learning about their intelligence, personalities, healing abilities, and companionship. Horse therapy ranches are popping up all over the country, and for good reason. Others have discovered as I have that horses know how to heal instinctively. They mirror emotions and can assist in mental, emotional, spiritual, and even physical healing. These animals are a gift to us, and the psychic connection is undeniable. The more time I spend in their presence, the more I understand about my own lessons, not to mention staying in my authentic self.
Being surrounded by these blessed beings—cat, dog, horse, no matter—I am becoming a more balanced, healed and wiser person. I invite you to step into the animal healer world and experience what I have. Studies show people with animals live longer, healthier, happier lives. Healers have been gifted to us from all over the Universe. We certainly need all the help we can get at this point! My hope is you find your own animal healer and take your life to the next level. It is an experience I highly recommend!
To view the entire October 2016 issue, click here!
I’ve talked about this before, but since this pattern is repeating in my life, I know it is repeating in others’ lives also.
Do you have the same things happen to you over and over? I do. There are a couple of themes that run through these “experiences” I have every couple of years. I understand now this is not to deter me from my work, but to make me stronger.
When this experience first came into my life, I raised holy hell and defended myself to the highest degree. I called out the people who were insulting me and what I do, putting them in their place and making sure as many people knew what the truth was behind what they were saying. I thought to myself, “I have to stand up against these bullies and liars!”
The second time this came around, I said, “Again?” I knew I needed to look at the situation differently, so I asked my incredible guides, “What is this? Why is this back again?” They replied, “We want you to let it go, not respond, not react. Don’t give it any energy at all.” Are you kidding?
I tried. I did. But that fierce defender in me couldn’t let it go. I responded again, but this time, I wasn’t as virulent in my retort. Yes, I’m learning, I told myself.
Each time I saw this lesson heading my way, I told myself, “I’m not responding. I’m not responding. This doesn’t need a response. Really, I’m not responding.” Each time, I had to say something, though. I just wasn’t there yet. Maybe it was my insecurities about being a medium, something so out there, and something so misunderstood. Maybe it was just my ego trying to make a statement. Regardless, when the insult would come, and the guides would say, “Don’t respond,” something in me just couldn’t comply.
This last week, it came again, viciously. The insult, the threat. As I read it, I immediately asked myself, “WWJD?” You know the saying. What would Jesus do? Jesus is not just a religious figure. He is an incredible teacher, and, boy, did he have his naysayers! I felt a calm come over me, and for the first time, I knew I didn’t need to respond. I knew this was the same old thing, just another view of the lesson I had been receiving over the last eight years. When you do what I do, there are going to be people who just don’t understand or agree with it. Period.
I didn’t respond, I deleted the message, and I released any energy attached to it. This time, I got the lesson.
We all have these themes come up. We have these “tests” of our resilience and our determination. Sometimes, they can feel so overwhelming, we just can’t breathe. Our job in these moments is to stop, breathe, and ask, “What do I need to do here?” Then quietly await the answer. Like me, it might be you are asked to do something against your grain. I can tell you from experience, learning how to walk through these experiences will make life more rich, brighter, and just more enjoyable.
Have I finally conquered this? I honestly don’t know. But I can say I am farther down the line than I was last week. And that is my victory!